Let’s Talk About “Sharing the Road”: A Love Letter to Our Two-Wheeled Overlords

I was raised right. When I was three years old, my mother taught me the virtue of sharing. Sharing toys, snacks, space on the couch with my sister—even the last cookie, though that one took a bit longer to master. So naturally, when I see those cheerful yellow diamond signs posted on city streets from Manhattan to Washington, D.C. that say, “Share the Road,” I smile. Because sharing is nice. But then I remember—those signs are talking about sharing the road with cyclists. And that’s when my smile turns into a smirk, because nothing says “one-sided sharing” quite like a grown man in Lycra pedaling through a red light while flipping off traffic. Let’s just call it like it is: bicyclists are the only ones on the road who want all the rights of cars, but none of the responsibilities. They want lanes, lights, right of way, respect—and yet they treat the basic laws of the road like a suggestion menu at a food court. Optional. Skippable. Let’s be honest, I’ve seen more law-abiding behavior at a toddler birthday party after someone takes the last slice of pizza. Every week, riding uptown from Battery Park, I bear witness to the Cyclist Games—an Olympic competition in evading basic traffic laws. Red light? Eh, it’s more of a color suggestion. Stop sign? Didn’t see it. Pedestrian in a crosswalk? Hope they have good reflexes. It’s like playing Frogger, except the frogs are yuppies on $3,000 carbon fiber death traps. And I wish I could say this was just a quirky New York thing. You know, “only in the city” behavior, like pizza rat or subway saxophonists playing “Careless Whisper” at 7 a.m. But no, the scofflaw cycling phenomenon extends far beyond the five boroughs. Take a walk through Georgetown, D.C., and you’ll see it—bikers weaving through cars like it’s an obstacle course, ignoring every traffic law with the smug confidence of someone who thinks putting kale in a smoothie makes it healthy. I’ve even seen it in the leafy suburbs, where Lance Armstrong wannabes in their branded spandex go flying down residential roads at 40 miles per hour, blowing through stop signs with zero intention of slowing down—because apparently brake pads are just added weight. Now, I’m not against cycling. Some of my best friends ride bikes. I get it. It’s healthy, it’s green, it’s eco-conscious, and I support all those things. But if you’re going to demand a place on the road—if you want to be treated like a vehicle—then the bare minimum is you follow the same rules as a vehicle. Because right now, “Share the road” means cars pay for it, cars insure for it, cars get ticketed on it… and bikers just kind of vibe on it. Let’s take a moment to talk about enforcement. Red light cameras. Speed cameras. Parking enforcement officers with quotas that make IRS auditors look relaxed. You can barely blink in New York City without risking a $115 fine. But cyclists? They might as well be ghosts. Untraceable. Untouchable. You could ride through a red light, do a little interpretive dance in the middle of an intersection, and the city’s response would be “Have a nice day and please hydrate.” Why? Because you can’t ticket what you can’t identify. License plates? Bikers don’t have them. Registration? Nope. A sticker? A barcode? A scrap of identifying info so that when you pull your best Fast & Furious impression through a school zone we can at least track you? Nothing. Which brings me to my revolutionary, totally fair, definitely not elitist idea: let’s make cyclists register their bikes. I know, radical. But hear me out—if a 17-year-old with a learner’s permit has to slap a giant sticker on their mom’s Honda CR-V, then surely a 38-year-old tech bro commuting on a Trek Domane can handle a $25 yearly registration fee. That’s about the cost of one organic beet latte in Brooklyn. With registration comes accountability. You give each bike a small sticker with a unique number—something readable by traffic cameras. Then, when you fly through that red light like you’re auditioning for Tour de Delinquent, boom, ticket in the mail. Welcome to adulthood, pal. Now I’m not for raising fees willy-nilly. That’s how we end up with $14 bridge tolls and $300 parking permits. But this isn’t a tax hike. It’s basic fairness. If you use the road, contribute to the road. It’s like going out to dinner with friends—if you didn’t chip in, maybe don’t complain about the tip. Let’s not forget, drivers already pay for the privilege of being on the road. Gas taxes, vehicle registration, insurance premiums, tire disposal fees, and tolls for everything from tunnels to bridges to the privilege of driving on a weekday. All to fund road maintenance, traffic systems, enforcement, and infrastructure. But cyclists? They want smooth roads, dedicated bike lanes, and protected intersections—without paying a dime into the system. That’s like showing up at a potluck with nothing and asking who brought the gluten-free cake. And don’t even get me started on the “cyclists are safer for the planet” argument. I agree. Fewer emissions, more exercise. But again, this isn’t about biking. This is about bikers acting like the rules don’t apply to them. It’s the moral equivalent of someone bringing a reusable shopping bag and then shoplifting half the store because, hey, they helped the environment. And here’s the kicker. Many of the same people who treat traffic lights like optional reading are the ones lecturing the rest of us about civic responsibility. You know the type. Wears Patagonia. Drinks out of metal straws. Starts every sentence with, “Actually…” If you ask them about accountability on the road, they’ll say something like “Cars are more dangerous, so we shouldn’t be held to the same standard.” That’s like saying toddlers don’t need rules because they’re small. Ask any preschool teacher how that turns out. So here’s my modest proposal: yes, let’s share the road. But let’s make it a two-way street. That means bike registration. That means enforceable accountability. That means stop signs actually mean “stop,” and red lights aren’t optional detours. You want the rights of a vehicle? Fine. But then you get the responsibilities too. No more hiding behind your handlebar mustache and fixie gear ratio. Time to pay your share, follow the law, and—dare I say it—share the road in return. Because until then, it’s not “share the road.” It’s “submit to the Lycra overlords.” And frankly, I didn’t vote for them. Endnotes: NYC Department of Transportation – According to DOT statistics, bicycle ridership has increased 26% since 2016, with over 550,000 cycling trips made daily in New York City. While infrastructure has improved, enforcement of traffic laws among cyclists remains low. Source: NYC DOT Cycling in the City Report, 2023 Red Light Cameras – New York City’s red light camera system issues over 300,000 violations annually to motor vehicles, yet current technology does not permit enforcement for bicycles lacking license plates or tracking systems. Source: NYC Office of the Comptroller, Traffic Enforcement Overview 2023 Traffic Violations by Cyclists – A 2019 observational study by Hunter College found that 37% of cyclists in Manhattan ran red lights or ignored traffic signals during rush hour. Source: Hunter College Bike Behavior Study D.C. Bicycle Infrastructure Expansion – Washington, D.C. has added over 100 miles of bike lanes in recent years, while simultaneously reducing on-street parking and traffic lanes for vehicles. However, enforcement for cyclist infractions remains minimal. Source: District Department of Transportation (DDOT), 2024 Annual Mobility Report Cyclist Registration Proposals – Multiple U.S. cities, including Chicago and Los Angeles, have floated (and ultimately abandoned) bicycle registration programs due to pushback from cycling advocates and enforcement complications. Source: National Association of City Transportation Officials (NACTO), Policy Papers 2021–2024 Road Funding by Motorists – In most states, roads are funded largely through gasoline taxes, vehicle registration fees, and toll revenue—none of which are typically paid by cyclists. Source: Congressional Budget Office, Federal Highway Funding Analysis, 2022 Public Opinion on Cyclist Accountability – A 2023 Pew Research survey found that 62% of Americans believe cyclists should follow the same traffic laws as cars and support enforceable penalties for violations. Source: Pew Research Center, Transportation Attitudes Survey 2023