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Mike Pence Tries Bold New Strategy Of Alienating The 80 Million People Who Voted For Trump

U.S. — In a bold new attempt to win the 2024 election against Biden, candidate Mike Pence has decided to alienate all 80 million voters who voted for Donald Trump.

“It’s about time someone had the courage to say it, so today I will say it: Trump is bad,” said Pence to a raucous crowd of 12 seniors in the activity center of Shady Oaks Retirement Home. “If that hurts my chances with the tens of millions of people who voted for him, so be it. I am a stalwart man of integrity. Just look at my kind eyes and serious face.”

Pence then looked directly into the camera with a look of integrity.

Sources within the Pence campaign confirmed Pence plans to make up the loss in support by courting Biden voters and convincing them he is not a bigoted Nazi fascist homophobe. “We have faith in the virtuous Americans who voted for Biden,” said a campaign spokesman. “They will certainly see things our way once Pence has had the chance to talk to them in his comforting evangelical Dad voice and make them see reason.”

Pence also expressed confidence that he would be able to make inroads with the 150 million people who didn’t vote in the previous elections, such as babies, illegal immigrants, and Chinese spies posing as university professors.

“Trump is an existential threat to democracy and an evil person,” continued Pence. “I know this from my 4 years of loyally and unquestioningly serving him. Vote for me!”

At publishing time approximately 100% of Biden voters polled still thought Pence was a bigoted Nazi fascist homophobe.

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9 thoughts on “Mike Pence Tries Bold New Strategy Of Alienating The 80 Million People Who Voted For Trump”

    1. ALL of them turned against HIM 2020 when he accepted the Democrat Pay-Off for Overturning
      the TRUMP WIN !!!!!!!

    2. 4:55 – I think he actually blew any minuscule chance he had when he was on with Tucker Carlson stating “That’s not my concern”

      He’s done

  1. pence can kiss my ass. I would only vote for him if he was the the only republican left on earth running for office

  2. Needs to enjoy his new found family time, work on the honey-do list and enjoy his retirement checks because elected office is not in his future. Career wise he touched the third rail and held on.

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