Hillary Clinton’s blood-red Met Gala dress turns heads

For the last twenty years, the last thing on Hillary Clinton’s mind was making a fashion statement.  Instead, in the years following her last appearance at the Met Gala, Hillary spent most of her time plotting world domination; arranging her server in her linen closet; smashing phones with hammers; and laughing like a hyena at the wedding of the man who, in 2016, wrested the presidency from her chubby post-menopausal hands.

Fast-forward to 2022, casting no aspersions on beets, looking somewhat like an oversized bloody beetroot primed for addition to a bowl of Russian borscht, the former first lady and former secretary of state and former target of Bosnian sniper fire showed up resplendently maskless on the Met Gala red carpet.  Accompanying her was what appeared to be a masked black servant-type who kneeled while arranging the folds of her gown so she wouldn’t trip and fracture her other wrist.

Based on the color of her dress, her outfit would have been appropriate for paying homage to either abortion or Benghazi.  It’s really a shame that the news about Roe v. Wade wasn’t leaked before the event.  If it had been, instead of historic glass ceiling–breakers, Hillary could have paid her respects to infanticide champions.  And instead of an ode to “homemakers and seamstresses,” she could have donned a stylized hospital gown with the names of late-term abortionists Susan Robinson and Shelley Sella embroidered across the front.

Nonetheless, for her bi-decade appearance, this time Hillary worked with a French designer, Joseph Altuzarra, who fashioned a blood-red ball gown for the aged Cinderella.  On it, he embroidered the names of deceased women, whom the former first lady claims to represent.

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