Fort Knox is full of gold bars. Pork Knox is full of sausage rolls.
Sausage rolls are tasty British savory snacks, consisting, as the name implies, of a single sausage rolled up inside a layer of pastry. They are extremely inexpensive, often under £1.00. And now they are being placed under lock and key. With shoplifting across the UK having become so endemic, branches of the popular budget bakery chain Greggs have been forced to redesign their stores countrywide so that it is no longer possible to walk in and pick items off the shelves. Customers must instead ask for buns and biscuits to be carefully retrieved from behind a thick Perspex counter by staff in measures previously reserved for protecting expensive diamond necklaces in a jewelry store.
To lose one sausage roll may be considered unfortunate; but to lose thousands looks like carelessness. One thief alone, the 39-year-old Adam Gosling, struck a single Greggs branch in West London 38 separate times over six weeks, stealing a full £1,817 worth of items before police bothered to do anything. And, when the law finally did act, he didn’t even receive a custodial sentence. Nicknamed “Hamster” by staff, due to his propensity for stuffing his cheeks with free food, shopworkers knew perfectly well what Gosling was up to, but felt constrained by company policy from doing anything to halt him, limiting themselves to standing right next to him whilst he “worked” in the hope this would shame him into stopping. It didn’t.
No steps forward, two steps back.
It’s like that in Chicago, isn’t it?
It’s like that most places now, like Baltimore, under the direction of that stupid mayor and Tax Moore.