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Dems Explain They Don’t Want Billionaires Controlling Our Media Unless They’re Bezos, Zuckerberg, Gates, Bloomberg, Buffett, Or Soros

U.S.—Democrats have explained that they absolutely do not want billionaires controlling our media, unless those billionaires are named Jeff Bezos, Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, Michael Bloomberg, Warren Buffett, or George Soros—along with about a thousand other names, according to sources.

“Elon Musk buying Twitter would represent a dangerous new world where billionaires who disagree with me own massive Big Tech companies,” said local Democrat activist and vegan smoothie cart owner Polly X. Walden. “Imagine a world in which social media sites can just ban you for your opinion if it’s unpopular. That’s the world we would be creating if we were to allow Musk to buy Twitter.”

Walden went on to point out that Musk would have a huge amount of power if he owned Twitter, enough to “even ban the President of the United States” or “suppress stories that could change the outcome of a presidential election.” “We can’t allow that kind of power to fall into the wrong hands—hands that disagree with me, I mean. We must entrust absolute power to billionaires on my side of the political spectrum, trustworthy men like Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, and Michael Bloomberg.”

Liberal political analysts across the country agreed, sharing their concerns for a world in which billionaires ban their own opinions, instead of the opinions of their political foes. “You conservatives just don’t understand how dystopian it would be if a social media site could just, like, shut you down unless you affirm their view of the world,” said one CNN commentator. “It would be a very scary world indeed.”

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6 thoughts on “Dems Explain They Don’t Want Billionaires Controlling Our Media Unless They’re Bezos, Zuckerberg, Gates, Bloomberg, Buffett, Or Soros”

  1. Lions and Tigers and Bears OH MY.
    Oh the NWO Billionaire Boogey Men are no different than the racist, classist, antisemitic,anti-union turn of the Century Robber Barons that fleeced the poor bought Politicians, and created the great companies and Blue Chips Stocks we hold dear. The more things change the more they stay the same. The fabric of Reality doesn’t change just the Print. They serve it up over and over again and we fall for it like Rubes. It’s no secret Conspiracy it’s always been right in the open for all to see and if we collectively call them out we are Labeled Communists and now Communist Nations are more successful Capitalists than we are. All the uncensored Tweets in the world will not change anything. Just create more Towering Babble to distract you whilst you are further manipulated into mediated virtual compliance.

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