President Joe Biden wants you to know something very important: European leaders are calling him. They’re apparently begging for his advice, urging him to “get engaged.” Not in marriage, mind you—this is Biden, not a Hallmark movie—but politically. Globally. Existentially.
The only problem? He won’t name a single one of these supposed leaders. Not one single leader.
Not Macron. Not Merz. Not Putin. Not even the guy running Belgium, whoever that is this week.
Instead, he gives us the classic Biden fog: vague insinuations, heavy nostalgia, and just enough delusion to make you wonder if these so-called “leaders” are calling from this plane of existence… or the next.
Because let’s be honest—based on his policies, posture, and ghostly grip on the present—if Biden is getting calls from Europe, they’re probably from Helmut Kohl, Benito Mussolini, Neville Chamberlain, Karl Marx, or Generalissimo Francisco Franco, who is still dead. Now that’s a cabinet call.