Actor-comedian Patton Oswalt ranted at Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agents on Monday night, dismissing their efforts to clear the country of illegal migrants as demeaning and making them collectively “the biggest douchebags on the planet.”
“But in a weird way, I feel bad for the ICE agents because it’s so clear this was their fantasy,” he said on Jimmy Kimmel Live.
Oswalt mocked the agents for acting like the Sylvester Stallone character Judge Dredd. “But the thing is,” he joked, “they’re shaped like me, they look like Pillsbury Stormtroopers.”
As the Daily Beast reported, Oswalt then asked if he could talk directly to camera and continued with his dismissive assertions.
“Your knees are hurting, your hips are screaming, and your back is aching,” he told ICE agents. “And you’re thinking, ‘Why didn’t I just stay home and play Red Dead Redemption and eat Sun Chips instead of coming out here in the heat where everyone’s booing me and I’m realizing that I’m the biggest douchebag on the planet?’”
Ultimately, Oswalt told them they “still have a chance to do what I do and serve humanity by staying home and playing video games and purchasing all of America’s great snack foods and helping this wonderful economy.”