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Alarming Study Finds 33% Of Americans Are Dumber Than A Bag Of Hammers

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U.S. — As summer ramped up heading into the important home stretch to the November presidential election, an alarming new study found that 33% of Americans are dumber than a bag of hammers.

News channel CNN conducted a poll asking viewers who won last night’s debate between Joe Biden and Donald Trump, with a shocking 33% of people responding that they suffer from advanced cognitive impairment, officially placing them at or beyond the stupidity of a box of rocks.

“We can confirm over one-third of the country is drooling morons,” said Dr. Bradford Doran, head of the research team conducting the poll. “While it’s always been suspected that a significant number of Americans were mindless idiots, no one ever suspected that there were this many of them. It’s fascinating and yet terrifying at the same time.”

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4 thoughts on “Alarming Study Finds 33% Of Americans Are Dumber Than A Bag Of Hammers”

  1. What do we expect when just pass a child on to the next grade regardless of the ability to understand or pass what is required to go to the next grade. No child left behind only effects the child ability to learn and they just give up, knowing they are going to pass anyway.. We have let the children down.

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