By now everyone has heard that Camilla Parker Bowles, the duchess of Cornwall and wife of Prince Charles, learned the hard way from which orifice our puppet president (P.P.) speaks. Dementia Joe arrived in Scotland to demand clean air and settled for crop-dusting those in attendance instead. Royal gossipers quote Camilla as saying the American president’s flatulence was “long and loud and impossible to ignore.”
This diplomatic airing of grievances comes at the rear of a disputed report from Rome last week that “the most popularly elected president in American history” was so happy to see the pope that he soiled himself on the spot. The incident was denied, and Democrats immediately claimed that Biden is capable of controlling his progressive movements just fine, but the two potty training rumors coming so close together make both pieces of scuttlebutt sound more likely.
Far be it for me to tell the pretend president (still P.P.) what he does with his bowels. Perhaps it was his way of secretly fighting back against the pope’s communist sympathies or the global elite’s climate hypocrisy. His NeverTrump allies have always claimed Ol’ Dirty Britches is actually a moderate at heart, even if he has proved incapable of moderating his other organs. Still, Joe sure does put the scat in scatterbrained. Just because he can’t remember where he is at any given moment, that doesn’t mean he should resort to constantly marking his territory.
If there is any more apt metaphor for this disastrous presidency, I don’t know it. Most European leaders were desperate to get rid of “America First” President Trump because he threatened the metastatic Western oligarchy in control of the financial system. They got their way and celebrated when the general foulness now occupying the Oval Office took over. The thing about working to place a turd in the White House, however, is that it still smells unmistakably like a turd when sitting across the mahogany dining room table, no matter how fine the tablecloth or how exquisite the crystalware. If European dignitaries had any doubts about this before Joe’s foreign misadventures, they are certainly well aware of the malodorous truth now. It must finally be clear that if “something is rotten in the state of Denmark,” Joe Biden has most likely gotten lost somewhere nearby.
While President Trump always spoke to his counterparts clearly, plainly, and assertively, wherever P.P. Biden tries to formulate sentences, he leaves behind a mess for others to clean up. That might have seemed like a manageable problem for European elites who despised Trump’s determination to squash the existing crony capitalist system and NATO free-rider problems that hamper both Western free trade and international security, but now that Biden has nonchalantly dumped on his European partners both a disastrously deadly Afghanistan retreat and a military double-cross that resulted in one of the worst diplomatic spats in French-American history, some Europeans might regret that President Trump is not still in power.
He walks like he’s got a load of shit in his pants anyway.
He probably does!